Married couples, hear me on this. Date night is important. Maybe it’s a little more of a big deal to me than Susan because I’m a quality time person, but still. It’s important. It’s 2017 and if you have internet or have ever scrolled through facebook or even pinned a cute outfit idea on Pinterest, you’ve undoubtedly ran across a blog (or 163) about how important a date night is with your spouse. So, you don’t need me for that. What you need me for is to tell you my epic plan for how to actually take a date night like the damn internet keeps telling you to…without spending all your dolla dolla bills.

I know you can hang out and sip hot tea together after the kiddos go to bed, but sometimes, you wanna put on some make up and an actual pair of jeans and leave the house. But, y’all, food ain’t cheap. And neither are babysitters. So, embrace that inner redneck or coupon lady or whatever crazy lady you’ve got hidden down deep inside, and follow these simple steps to a super-fancy, date night on the cheap:

  1. Choose a fast food restaurant. I know, I know. Healthy living and such. But, this is balance. This is occasional. And if you’re a baller on a budget, embrace it. REPRESENT. And if DQ or Wendy’s isn’t your jam, and you want to get really swanky, consider Chick-Fil-A or Zaxby’s.  I know Zaxby’s swears they’re not a fast food establishment, so that’s going to be as high-class as you can go here.
  2. Check for coupons or family nights or other random discounts. Y’all, ain’t no shame in that coupon game. It’s the Holiday season right now,  full of Christmas parties and plays and dinners and events and extra outfits and pajamas and gifts. So, if you’re pinching pennies and need some quality time, you better get to clippin, girl! And if you can’t find coupons or any special deals, you may have to resort to the value menu (GASP!).
  3. Take your kids. No, you didn’t misread that. And no, I am not drunk. This is both genius and ridiculous, but it has been tested and tried and 100% proven to work. Babysitters are amazing and wonderful and worth every single penny they charge, but sometimes, you just gotta make your own babysitting shenanigans happen. So, in this scenario, the children babysit themselves. Kind of like Crispin’s Crispian, the dog who owned himself. You guys know what I’m talking about, right? The dog smoking a pipe? Didn’t you have that book as a child? Anyway, I digress. Back to the plan…You take your kids with you, but you strategically place them at a different table upon ordering. And by strategically, I mean, they sit somewhere out of earshot, but where you can still see them. You know, so you can’t hear their arguing, but you can throw a stank eye their way every once in a while. While you’re at your separate tables, the kids can chat and eat and play with their kids meal toys and get endless soda refills while you make googly eyes over an Arby’s sweet tea and chat about the weather or your favorite coffee creamer or debate whether we actually ever landed on the moon.

It will be glorious and cheap and you’ll have an actual conversation, even if it’s only 20 minutes. Full disclaimer here…the restaurant employees might not like you after this, but we’re not really on a date to make new friends, are we?

So, are we bad parents? Or are we actually geniuses? Only time will tell…

Here’s to budgeting and ballin’ and momming so hard!
(I’ll drink to that)

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